Love and Lead Read online

  Callum gave me a sympathetic frown. “They missed you a ton. Blaise is pacing the floors for you, and Ryker looks about ready to punch a hole through the wall if you don’t get your pretty ass down there soon. Don’t doubt them, Baby. Don’t doubt...any of us.”

  I didn’t miss the meaning in his words, knowing that we weren’t at a place to talk about what all had happened, but we would be soon. I was surprised at how willing Callum was to discuss my relationships with Blaise and Ryker, as well as reassure me. In many ways, he’d taken on Gavriel’s role of doing what was best for the group. This was why we worked; everyone stepped up to fill in the gaps where others were weak.

  But I couldn’t tell him that I didn’t doubt him. Couldn’t tell him that I wanted to go back to normal. For some reason, those words were stuck in my throat, feeling restricted by everything that had happened. So instead, I simply let out a shaky exhale and said, “Okay.”

  Chapter Three

  One. I was going to see Blaise and Ryker.

  Two. I was a confident woman.

  Three. They loved me.

  “Let’s go,” Gavriel growled from behind Callum. He had been watching me mouth those unspoken thoughts to myself, counting through the steps that brought down my racing heartbeat.

  I shook away the lingering doubts before walking around Callum’s tall body to grab Gavriel’s hand. He didn’t need me to help him down the large winding staircase, but I wanted to touch him all the same. I’d been finding every opportunity possible to connect my skin with his since the night at the church. It reaffirmed the fact that he was, in fact, alive. He was here, he was with me. Even if his mind was somewhere else most days.

  We left his room then traveled down the hallway, moving slower than usual. Once we landed at the top of the staircase, I looked down the steps where Blaise was standing at the bottom, staring back up at us in awe as we descended. I suddenly became self-conscious, tugging at my threadbare tank and pulling my sweats up. When was the last time I paid attention to my appearance? Everything had been such a cycle of worrying about Gavriel, observing Callum, and simply surviving that I couldn’t remember.

  “My Sunshine, look at you,” he said with a bright smile that didn’t seem forced. Happiness was practically seeping from every pore.

  He looked good. Damn good. His hair was even longer now, almost covering his ears but still parted stylishly. Aviator sunglasses were hooked on the collar of his shirt. His jeans were tight, and I bit my bottom lip as I appraised him.

  Stopping in the middle of the long staircase, I felt emotional about this reunion and wanted to memorize the way Blaise’s face was twisted up in pure adoration. He didn’t give me much time to process the moment, because pretty soon he started stomping up the staircase, meeting me in the middle to wrap his arms around my stomach as Gavriel pulled away. “I missed you. Every second away, I wanted to come back.”

  Happy tears filled my eyes and spilled over, trailing down my face. I just wanted to revel in the feel of Blaise’s arms around me. He felt so good and warm, circling me with his body and reassuring me that nothing had changed without saying a word. “I missed you, too,” I whimpered. God, I missed Blaise. I missed how he knew what I needed. I missed his brutal honesty. It was only six weeks, but it felt like much longer.

  Blaise gave Gavriel one of those nods of solidarity in greeting, one that said all the things my macho men couldn’t speak out loud. I noticed how his eyes lingered on Gavriel’s scarred cheek for a moment. After squeezing Blaise one more time and placing a kiss against the first bare patch of skin I could find on his neck, I spoke. “You look good. Are you okay?”

  “Just good, Sunshine? Ouch, you wound me,” he chuckled while stroking my back. I breathed in his scent, my body was already humming from having him so close. I kissed his neck again, sucking ever so slightly, just to show him how much I truly missed him.

  “We don’t have time,” he whispered in my ear, just low enough for me to hear. “But you can bet your pretty little ass I’ll be seeing you about a proper reunion. One that involves you screaming my name.”

  A healthy blush covered my chest and cheeks. “You better,” I whispered before pulling away and descending the rest of the stairs to meet Ryker, who was standing down at the bottom.

  My fighter stared at me, green eyes lingering on the grey sweat pants I was wearing, my tank top, and the way my black hair was put up in a knot on top of my head.

  Ryker’s stare felt heated and inquisitive, so unlike the looks I got from the others. Blaise was honest but polite. He wouldn’t tell me I looked as awful as I felt. But Ryker? He was committing my appearance to memory, looking me up and down so later he could address it. He wasn’t like Nix, throwing me into self-care with a friendly shove. He wasn’t like Gavriel, demanding it. He was quiet, weaving solutions together and guiding me to the best version of myself with his love and words.

  "I missed you," I said to Ryker before reaching out to grab his hand and squeeze. The moment those words left my lips, he sighed in relief, as if he wasn't sure that us being apart would've changed my mind about him too. We were alike in that sense, always wondering when the other would wise up and flee.

  "I missed you, too." His voice had a rough quality to it that hinted at a lack of sleep. I wanted to know everything that had happened since the fire, but I also didn't want to know. They were in danger, that much I understood. But after almost losing one of my men, I couldn't stomach the thought of any of the others being at risk. I needed to toughen up though. I had a feeling that as long as I was with them, danger would always be on our heels.

  I looked him over, smiling when I realized that this was the first time I’d seen him not covered in bruises and cuts since we first reunited. It was a relief but still out of the ordinary. I’d grown used to his fighter lifestyle somewhat. He was wearing sweats and white sneakers; the baggy material hung low on his hips and the tight shirt he wore left little to the imagination.

  “You don’t have a black eye or split lip. What, were you on vacation or something?” I asked with a wry grin.

  Ryker pulled me in, crushing me to his chest for a hug. “Very funny, Sunshine,” he grumbled before kissing me. And, oh God, did he kiss me. His tongue traveled over mine; his lips were pressed so harshly against me that I wondered where he began and I ended. We were as close as we could get without having sex, devouring each other. I poured my moans into him, despite how inappropriate the timing was or that we had an audience.

  Blaise clapped his hands to get our attention, and I turned to stare at him. “You are literally killing me. And interrupting one of the hottest kisses I’ve ever seen is officially my least favorite thing to do, but we need to talk before Grace gets here," Blaise said with a wince, as if it legitimately pained him to stop us. I frowned in confusion. Blaise was rarely nervous, at least not that I’d ever seen. He was cocky, charming, and confident. But now, he seemed unsure. Looking side to side around the entryway of Gavriel’s safe house, he ran his hand through his rust-brown hair with a sigh before pulling both his lips in to chew on them.

  Gavriel gave him an apprehensive once over before asking, "What's wrong?" But before Blaise could respond, the front door opened and in walked Nix. He had an overgrown beard, as if he hadn't bothered to shave in weeks. His bloodshot eyes and droopy shoulders automatically had me on high alert. I would've run to him, wrapped my arms around his tall, muscular frame, but he was holding a frail-looking young woman that I immediately assumed was Grace.

  From where I was standing in the foyer, I saw that she was tiny. She had long, auburn hair. The oversized, forest green shirt she was wearing was hanging off her shoulder, showing off the freckles that kissed her skin. Nix nodded at me in greeting, a small smile of relief gracing his face before he looked down at her with adoration.

  Nix took a step inside and glanced over his shoulder where a figure was standing in the doorway behind him. He had chestnut brown hair swept to the side and a cut on his cheek. The
man was easily well over six feet tall and towered over everyone in the room. He was lean but still muscular. The brown short sleeve shirt he was wearing showed off defined but not overbearing muscles.

  All of that, although notable, was nothing compared to the terror in his expression. I'd never seen a man look so scared. It was like he wanted to flee the room and never look back. But silver eyes looked longingly at the woman in Nix’s arms, and it seemed to bolster some courage within him because he inhaled before going rigid and looking at Gavriel.

  "Mr. Moretti?" he asked. His tone was refined, in a surprising sort of way. I detected the hint of an accent that I couldn’t quite place.

  I turned to look at Gavriel, who was doing his best to stand tall and proud, like the mob boss he trained himself to be. I knew it was an intimidation tactic, but it was difficult to be scary when your legs trembled from exhaustion. He was still healing. "Who are you, son?" Gavriel asked.

  "My name is Alessandro Gray."

  “Now there’s a familiar name,” Gavriel growled before pulling the pistol strapped to his waistband and pointing it at him. Gav cocked back the safety and hovered his index finger over the trigger. He was just short of an exhale from killing him. Everyone immediately went on high alert, confusing me. Who was this guy? “You’re Santobello’s right-hand man. You’ve got some balls coming here,” Gavriel growled.

  Ryker positioned me behind him, holding his flexed arm out protectively over me. But he didn’t seem scared of Alessandro; it was like he was protecting me from Gavriel. I looked towards Callum who was eyeing my mob boss with trepidation while inching closer to where he stood. The entryway of Gavriel’s safe house suddenly seemed very crowded. My heart began to race at the sight of the gun, and I hated that familiar panic that started bubbling up inside of me, punching me in the gut with terror.

  One. Gavriel was in control.

  Two. I’m safe.

  Three. Gavriel’s got the gun, not Paul Bright.

  I squeezed my eyes shut at the thought of my father. Since his death, I’d done everything in my power to completely eradicate him from my mind.

  Nix spoke up immediately. "He's the one that got Grace out of there. And he's got some information you're gonna want to hear. He was helping with Santobello’s hacking and saved your sister's life. Put that gun back where it belongs, or I'll blow your brains out," Nix’s voice was rough, and I had to stifle a gasp. I had never heard him speak so aggressively. Nix was all alpha but never threatening.

  Gavriel still didn't put his gun away; we all just stood there in a silent standoff. I knew that part of Gavriel wanted retribution for Santobello’s actions. Even now, from behind Ryker’s muscular frame, I could see how Gav was considering Nix’s threat. I bet he was imagining how it would feel to kill one of Santobello’s men. Gavriel wanted to take back some of the control over his life that he'd lost, and he was dancing with that need as he held a gun aimed at this Alessandro Gray.

  I kept quiet, knowing that nothing I said would change Gavriel's mind right then. His soul was at war with his body. It wasn't until a whimper escaped the lips of the girl in Nix’s arms that Gavriel seemed to be shocked out of the strange trance he was in. Keeping the gun pointed at Alessandro, he made his way over to Nix and Grace, using a free hand to brush the hair away from her face. It was an awkward move, like he didn’t feel he knew her well enough to touch her.

  "Grace? What did they do to you?" he asked, his voice shaky.

  I couldn't see her face clearly from where I was, but something about it had made Gavriel reign in his anger. Her voice was small and weak, but still, she replied, "He saved me.” Her whisper was barely audible, and with an exhale, she went limp in Nix's arms.

  Exactly ten beats of my heart passed before Gavriel lowered the gun, disarmed it, and put it back in his holster. He didn't offer Alessandro an apology or even an explanation. He just looked around the room, wide-eyed and crazy, before shouting, "Where’s that damned doctor?"

  Chapter Four

  It took a couple of hours for the doctors to look over Grace. With how much Gavriel was paying the team of specialists, they were incredibly thorough. Nurse Courtney fussed over the rest of us, making everyone hot tea while Alessandro was strip-searched and checked for wires. They ultimately determined that Grace was malnourished.

  Alessandro assured us that it wasn’t because of anything he did. She stubbornly refused to eat while there. While describing the many frustrating things about Grace Moretti, he spoke with exasperation, but there was a fondness in the way he said her name and a brightness in his eyes as he spoke.

  There was also some bruising on her stomach, and when the doctor reported that, I watched Gavriel’s fingers twitch like he was itching to grab his gun again. “She liked to defy Santobello. One night she went too far,” Alessandro explained in an ominous tone. She’d need a few days to recover, but nothing was broken. She was just weak and sore.

  The team of specialists left, and after Courtney inconspicuously checked that Gavriel was staying ahead of the pain, she braved the icy roads to drive home to her two sons.

  I wanted to know more about Grace. Gavriel wasn’t very forthcoming about his sister, nor was he open about their relationship. I wasn’t sure if it was because he genuinely didn’t know much about his little sister, but what I did know was that she was feisty. And that made me like her already.

  "So, tell me why you’re here and why you saved Grace," Gavriel demanded. He was sitting in his leather chair in the traditionally decorated living room while drinking ice water and glaring around at everyone with ferocious intensity. I knew he was overcompensating for how much pain he was currently in, regardless of the lies he told nurse Courtney.

  I was sitting on the love seat, snuggled comfortably between Blaise and Ryker and enjoying how my heart finally felt full for the first time in weeks. Callum stood behind us, resting his hands on the back of the sofa and casually looking for any excuse to touch the back of my neck. I liked it.

  "First of all, you should know that I have no loyalty to Santobello," Alessandro began. He paced the room as he spoke, and our eyes were glued to his moving frame.

  “If you’re hoping that will help me trust you, Mr. Gray, it’s not working,” Gavriel replied before taking another sip of water. The room was dark, the only light a small lamp in the corner. “How can I trust a man that has no loyalty? I’ve had enough of that lately.” He waved his hand around the room as if to wordlessly push his point. He was right, everyone that claimed to be loyal to Gavriel had left weeks ago.

  Alessandro winced as if realizing his mistake. Gavriel was like a minefield of triggers. One wrong step and he’d end up dead.

  "Santobello gave me no choice but to join his ranks and do some work for him. I knew Phoenix from a while back, we were in a vigilante group and got to know each other pretty well." That was odd, I thought I knew everything about Phoenix, but this vigilante group was news to me. Gavriel turned his eyes to mine as if wordlessly asking me if it was true. I gave him a little shrug which thankfully seemed to be good enough. I was afraid if I told him I knew nothing of it that Gavriel would stop listening to Alessandro.

  "So your loyalty is to Phoenix, then?" Gavriel asked. My best friend was currently upstairs with Grace. He was refusing to leave her side, which left Alessandro vulnerable. Nix was either too wrapped up in Grace’s well-being to care, or he intuitively knew that Gavriel wasn’t going to do anything. I wish I could have the same faith in my mob boss, but I was too busy eyeing the pistol on the table beside him.

  "My loyalty is to myself," Alessandro growled. I almost—almost—rolled my eyes. What was the point in being so macho?

  "Tell me about this vigilante group," Gavriel ordered.

  I squinted in confusion before turning to look at Blaise. He was slumped over beside me, his hand clasped over mine. I danced my thumb over his tan skin. He was hardly awake, and I couldn’t see his hazel eyes, as his lids kept shutting. Both he and Ryker looked as exha
usted as I felt.

  "I'm surprised. Don't you want to know all of Santobello’s secrets? You have his right-hand man at your mercy. That's all you mobsters ever want." Alessandro rolled his eyes, and I had to bite back a smile. Even if Mr. Grey didn’t understand his line of questioning, I knew what Gavriel was doing. He was trying to figure out if Alessandro was trustworthy. What use was information if you didn’t trust the person delivering it?

  "Answer the question,” Gavriel ordered in a fierce tone. Letting out a sigh, Alessandro looked around the room before answering.

  "I joined the group in college. I was looking for my birth mother and was told they could help me find someone off the grid.”

  “Who’s your birth mother?” Gavriel asked in a bored tone.

  “The only person on this planet that could bring Santobello’s empire crashing down.” And with that ominous statement, the entire room went into a contemplative silence.

  “Well, now,” Gavriel replied with a forced chuckle, “you have my attention.”

  I leaned against Ryker.

  “My mother...knew Santobello. Her name is Lilly Russo. When she got pregnant with me, she made plans to run. Set me up with an adoptive family and got the fuck out of there. When I grew up, I stupidly went looking for her. Instead, I found Santobello.”

  "What’s with the ominous phrasing? Are you Santobello’s son?" I asked, immediately covering my mouth with my hand when I noticed Gavriel staring at me. He’d been on edge and needed control of the situation. It was the most excitement we'd had in weeks, and I was more than willing to give him the spotlight. I just couldn't help myself, all of this was so...curious.